2/26/2007

Damn the Black Jewish Female Hispanics who wadded up my silken panties!

I'm sure there's a word for this other than "stupid". (hat tip to BA)

Can't think of one yet.

It's an interesting whine, one does however wonder what manner of crazy nonsensical fairies she's batting at with the post.

Of course she, like many of these conservative, *sigh*, "shock" bloggers doesn't seem to know what the "bad words" she's flinging around actually mean.

And I do actually sigh everytime I encounter this pathetically dull brand of comedy, because I like intelligence in my comedy, that's why I like hip-hop, there's word plays and irony and puns that don't suck toast - and best of it has tragicomic elements.

I also love the work of Spike Milligan, and most of it is, unabashadly racist - it was written in the 50's and 60's, even if it was written in britain which didn't have segregation or anything, so the lines of comedic taste are further towards pandering to the tastes of racists than otherwise.

but does any goonshow episode have the sort of words that the modern "shock" "anti-PC" "comedians"? No.

Why? Because it didn't need to, Milligan could whip out actual satire, and wierd little surrealistic things, could even play with racist stereotypes, there's one episode where they have a ridiculously over the top "Umm me big chief" type character, who of course shows up to give the cowboys (who's fort has of course moved over onto "Indian" land because it was built on shifting sands) a bill for unpaid taxes on the booze that was transported across the border in the fort.

The juxtapositioning of the uncultured savage stereotype with the idea of customs inspectors is the source of the comedy in that joke, not the stereotype itself - and it's practically a mcguffin, because the rest of the episode revolves around the sheer stinginess and cowardliness of the cowboys who are trying to do everything in their power to avoid paying taxes on the booze - until the episode culminates in Commander Bloodnock declaring that they'll have to "drink their way out" of the predicament.

However the best "joke" from the Goonshow is, imho of course, something from the episode "the yeti".

It's an odd joke, which I haven't even seen done elsewhere - probably because it only really works with radio. It relies not a traditional punchline of any kind because the punchline is that, during an inexplicable shift from a dialogue based narrative structure to a first person narrative structure, the point of view suddenly gets switched around between two people so that one voice actor ends up narrating from the first person for the character played by the other voice actor.

That's a rather dry of explaining it, basically, the usual narrative of the goon show is expounded through characters talking to each other and the sound effects, but for no real reason (other than to satirise the radio serials of the day which resorted to first person narratives, but you don't have to know that to get the actual punchline) the narrative suddenly shifts to a first person narrative, told from the perspective of the character Neddy Seagoon (played by harry seacombe)...

Neddy Seacombe: As I was sitting down to watch the telly in the house next door but one, we had thins walls you see, there came a knock from the front door...

*sound of two knocks and a crashing noise*

Gridpipethin: I appear to have put my fist through your door...

NS: He said. don't worry about it, a bit of plaster should sort it out.

G: He said. Oh don't worry I only grazed my knuckles.

...And somewhere during this is a bizare interchange with lots of "he said I said he said" after which NS ends up with the part of gridpipethin and G ends up finishing the skit with; "and after gridpipethin left, I sat down to watch the telly in the house next door but one..." and the audience is left confused but amused at the way the switch round was done so fluidly that you know that the narrative perfectly justified the switch round while at the same time the actual switch around makes no sense whatsoever.

You may at this point wonder why I'm waffling like this, well that's a simple question to answer - because I'm amused but confused at that anti-PC post, except with out the amused part because there's no actual switch around, nor build up or set up for the gag, she just comes out and basically says "political correctness was created by oppressed peoples".

Now I'm going to say what all progressives know but probably don't say to often because it's so pathetically obvious that it'd be like stating the color of the sky or pointing out that things fall towards the ground - you don't have to state it, it's that obvious and well known.

but I'm gonna say it, because it should clarify what's so very very very wrong with that post, what is in fact wrong with every single post any conservative has ever written about the great beast called "political correctness". In so doing I will of course be agreeing with the original post, but I shall then explain away the nonsensical juxtapositioning of reality with conservative fantasy which, I'm reasonably certian, is what is sucking "teh funny" out of every single attempt by conservatives to be humorous.

So here's the blatantly obvious: Political Correctness is racist.

Yes, I know, they actually brought me down to their level of pathetic-obviousness-cum-revelatory-gnostic-truth, but it obviously needed saying by a non-idiot.

Why is it racist though? Ah yes, I know, I know, "because political correctness is a term for the 'polite' 'civil' and otherwise politically acceptable ways for white people to screw over the downpressed, hence the name 'political correctness'", I know that, and you know that, but the poor little dearie at violent acres doesn't, nor do any of the other half witted o'rly-wannabe buffoons out there.

it's not their fault, they're stupid, it doesn't make them bad people.

The fact that they seem to wallow in these childish cries for attention they portray as "humor" at the expense of oppressed people does however make them both bad people, and even worse than that: Bad comedians.

That's what's so wrong with evil clowns, The Clown is a creature designed by evolution over millions of years to be amusing, but never is, and I think you'll find that in nature, the eviller the clown, the more convinced they are of their own jocularity.

And make no mistake, the sad, warped and just plain unfunny nature of the evil clown's attempts at humor are no accidental coincidence, but is in fact causative - the evil clown is unfunny because it can't take being told that it's not funny, it cannot accept that its jokes do not tickle peoples' funny bones, and these facets of the evil clowns' personality lead it to also be evil - evil is inversely proportional to a person's ability to laugh at themselves, which is what allows comedians to actually grow as comedians in the first place, that ability to adapt and refine their act until it actually becomes funny. And with that, they end up learning to accept heckling and/or criticism without being a whiney baby.

Evil Clowns laugh at their own jokes, but never at themselves, and thus can never grow as comedians.


*waves at Bill O'rly*

In part, this is due to the fact that comedians have to know what they're tlaking about, comedy is a form of poetic almost scientific examination of the world, a method of parsing down reality to its basest form.

This has largely taken the form of fart jokes through out the millenia, especially with thomas edison for some reason (he invented a rectal stovepipe to direct farts out of smell and out of mind), largely because life is pretty fart-like - stinky and socially awkward.

But I would be very surprised if those early cave paintings of well endowed men weren't an early form of satirical cock mockery that has evolved into today's humorous progressive bloggers. Of course the modern progressive bloggers mock the modern republican party's obsession with man love, especially in light of which ever gay republican has unveiled his "no homo pro bono" policies this week, rather than just pointing and laughing at the tribal leader's bizarre propensity for adding padding into his banana hammock.

Of course why conservatives aren't funny is also due to the fact that, while they have troubles laughing at themselves, this is in large parts due to their inability to actually stop and observe reality prior to trying to laugh at it - they just know how the world works, mexicans are lazy, jews are greedy, black people are scum - they know these things so why should they bother actually trying to learn anything?

But this leaves them deeply unfunny because you can't pun if you don't understand what two homophones each mean.

So when violent acres says "nigger", she's using it as she understands the word - she knows what it means, it means "black person", and damn the eyes of anyone who tries to add context or baggage to that word - and of course she's using it in the infantile way conservatives always have used it outside the confines of political correctness; like a child saying "shit" to their parents, wiht about as much subtly or depth.

But what does "nigger" actually mean?

Well it doesn't just mean "black person", it means something along the lines of "slave/scum/untermenschen/blackperson" - actually that's not quite right because it doesn't mean any one thing exactly, but rather refers to a whole range of attitudes towards black people, and all of them are negative.

This is why PoC started reclaiming it - they call each other "nigger" to say "yes we're 'niggers', and we're proud of it", and this has gone on and gone on until it has gained its present meaning among PoC communities, so that when they say "nigger" they mean; "I am spartacus."

It's a method of showing solidarity.

This may also explains why Chris Rock was gibbering crap with his "and then there are niggers" skit, because nothing quite says responsible, politically aware black dude quite like using nigger with the exact same meaning as it has when Klansmen use the word.

Now don't get me wrong, he's got other material, and some of it is even funny, but the bit with the niggers seems to be the only bit that white people ever see for some reason, and way too many see that, go "woohoo!" and run off with some presumption of having license to divide "good" black people from those slave/scum/untermenschen/niggers and get attention from mommy by saying that oh so shocking word.

No you don't. Also, grow the fuck up already.

So with all this context, all this meaning, what of white folk using the word? And more to the point of violent acres' original post, what does this mean as far as political correctness goes. So let's get back to defining what we're actually talking about when say stuff.by

Now political correctness, as its name suggests, is the process and phenomenon where by white people now say and do certain things in a way that is politically acceptable.

What political correctness isn't, is black people, or jews or whoever getting pissed off and threatening white people until they shut up. Alas, it'd be nice if it was because then white people, who for some reason are deeply in love with sucking authoritive cock, wouldn't go about being deeply pleased that they can still verbally whip the plantation slaves, but it isn't.

What it is then, is that politicial correctness is racism via other means - white people aren't allowed to call black people niggers in public these days, not because it pisses off black people, but because it interrupts the business of screwing over black people through politically correct methods, because actually locking black people up by their ankles and forcing them to work for no money is only acceptable, if the black people in question can be labelled "criminals" in some way.

For instance, it is politically incorrect to call a black person "nigger", it is however politically correct to try to drown a city full of poor black people through gross incompetence.

Slavery is not politically correct, but maintaining a system of immigration laws and policies that enable white businesses to efficiently control non-white laborers through fear of deportment, incarceration and direct physical violence so that the non-white laborers are working for next to no pay , is politically correct.

Segregation is not politically correct, but linking property values to the major public services like schools, hospitals and public transport so that the dirt poor and non-white areas of the country that have the lowest property values as a result of segregation have disproportionately shitty public services while white areas that became incredibly affluent as a result of segregation have excellent public services, is politically correct.

Throwing jews into the siberian work camps is not politically correct, funding and arming the most violent and anti-semitic anti-isreali organisations is.

Funding and arming people who throw jews into gas chambers is NOT politically correct, funding and supporting the most incredibly reationary Isrealis who squelch non-violent anti-zionist groups, and who get the IDF to engage in atrocities and provocations that justify and support the most violently anti-semitic militant palestinian groups is very politically correct indeed.

"foul mouthed" is PC, "irrational and overly emotional woman" is un-PC.

"eloquent" is PC, "somebody shoot that uppity nigger already" is un-PC.

Asking "can't we just discuss keeping this minority from having full civil rights under law for the most asinine of reasons?" is PC, saying "I hate homosexuals" is not PC.

Saying "Affirmative Action means giving jobs and college places away to unqualified people" is both inaccurate, a lie, and deeply deeply Politically Correct.

On the other hand, saying "the legacy system and old boy network gives jobs and college places to unqualified people, and has in the last 6 years led ot the deaths of several thousand americans through incompetent people being placed into positions that required competent people - but at least they were white unqualified people, and most of the people they killed were either poor or black so that's alright then" is not PC.

"class war" is un-PC, "eminent domain" is PC.

"Anti-PC" is PC , "bigotry" isn't.

Are we seeing a pattern here yet?

Oh but that's unfair, what evidence exists to support these claims that Political Correctness is some doublethink method of making common racism and bigotry more acceptable?

Well because the basic logic that underpins the whole the thing doesn't make sense...

"Okay, so there's this grand conspiracy that is persecuting us right, that is in fact interfering with our constitutional right to free speech right, right, and this grand conspiracy, the sort of conspiracy that has launched the careers of countless radio and tv unpersonalities, which in fact justifies their existence to battle against this awesome force that oppresses countless middle class heteronormative cissies to the point where they spend every waking second of their day obsessing about whether or not some stray and entirely thoughtless action or utterance might bring down its almighty wrath upon them!"

Ooh-kay, and what does this conspiracy look like Dr. Oppressed?

"uh, well, you see when we call Them, you know, people who aren't heteronormative middle class cissies, names and things they find deeply offensive, or do things which makes their working and home lives unbearable, or when we, you know, sexually assault them or beat them up or murder them and blame it on our glands or make up other fake stories to justify it all they... well they complain! And then we feel guilty or people fail to treat us like we're nice people after they find out what we did!"

Uh...

"Why I remember this one time, at bandcamp, I raped this woman, and the lying bitch told on me..."

... err, how exactly was she a 'lying bitch', if you don't mind me asking?

"huh? Well she told people I raped her against her will! Can you believe it?"

O_o movingswiftlyon, and then what happened?

"yeah, where was I? Oh yeah, she fucking tattled on me, and then it got around camp people treated me like a complete jerk, and well, you can imagine how I felt after that can't you?"

I'd rather not. Uh, well thank you Dr Opressed, please be with the shutting up now!

You can, I'm sure see the serious fuckedupness of that strain of thought, basically you have freaking adults, grown boys and girls, crying foul when they limit themselves and then make up some mystical fucking force that means that the most privelaged, the people born with all the advantages it's possible in society to get, are whining, motherfucking whining, about how they have to actually moderate the tone ratehr than the intent of their language so that they're not obviously calling Obama Barack a muslim terrorist nigger.. Mark that htough; they don't even have to moderate their deep seated thoughts and beliefs as african and native americans and muslims and jews and catholics have all been expected to change their deepest held convictions over the centuries on the fucked up whims of colonialists and imperialists. If there was any frikking justice in this world...

They're being asked to use nothing more than the semblence of intelligence to proudly and boldly express their bigoted little thoughts in public and what do they say?

"I'm being oppressed by being expected to actually put even the most rudimentary amount of thought into what I say and do!"

It makes a kind of sense when IDers and evopsychics and Libertarians and gnostic cultural colonialists and other members of similar religions of wilful ignorance start whining about being expected to put the most rudimentary amount of thought into stuff.

But for you weirdos to be complaining about how your own demogogues are asking you to be less obvious about your assbaggery while at the same time complaining about how hte people your own consciences seem to be telling you to stop opressing are in fact opressing you by not allowing you to oppress them and...

Mein Gott! Do you see the convuluted nature of that last sentence? You see what I'm driven to?



And why the fuck do they even think that people who aren't them would want them to address them at all, let alone by some intentionally derogatory term? I'm a white het girl and I don't particularly like you using the same language as me, because you're kinda making them feel dirty, and not in that sexuality type way but in that "Richard M Nixon" kinda way.

So to help facilitate communications in future, let me give you a quick guide to how to address Other people:

Step 1: If you meet an Other person in the road, RUN AWAY! If they're black they might rape you and inject you with their evil bootilicious jungle fever, if they're gay you might catch homo-cooties, and if they're hispanics they'll probably retroactively get you hooked on hardcore narcotics in highschool.

Step 2: If step 1 for some reason fails and you are unable to get away from the Other person, as soon as you have the urge to cry "Yo! Queer!" or "Waaassup homey!" or "Hola my nigger! Clean my room!" simply think of them having sex with another of their kind, this will cause your sphincter to contract and promptly rob you of the power of speech until they are out of hearing range.

Step 3: If all else fails, I can only give you two further options to deal with the scourge of political correctness. First of all there is suicide, don't worry, it's less scary than you think it is because the distinction between brain death and your usual state of being is far greater than the bias on most medical instruments, the transition should therefore be neither difficult nor particularly shocking. the second option involve whining some more about it, because that's just so fucking productive dontchaknow.

But do it quieter, please, it's not that I object to you being loudly stupid, I'm white and therefore used to people like you, the problem is that what you're being stupid with is so void of content that I actually find myself liking creationists, because at least their evolving theories about biblical dinosaurs are amusing by comparison.

Whining incessantly while the point goes whoosh over your head? How is that even worth the time it took you to one-finger-type that all out?

7 comments:

Andrew said...

*hugs R. Mildred*

Cassandra Says said...

You win at life.
I especially liked the part about running away. It would be for the best really. Either that or I hear the local sex shop has a great deal on ball gags, maybe we could start distributing them to ye olde stereotypical stupid white people. It would be an act of public service.

R. Mildred said...

Ballgags and buttplugs surely, the stewpid whtie person is a anatomically bivocal - if you don't plug both ends they tend to jsut keep yammering away in 'pressionese atcha.

Cassandra Says said...

And thank thank you for that LOVELY mental image. The only question is, how do you figure out which toy to apply to which orifice when the sounds emitting are so similar?

R. Mildred said...

The only question is, how do you figure out which toy to apply to which orifice when the sounds emitting are so similar?

Presumably it'd be like finding a puncture in an inner tube - you submerge the suspect oratory end under water and if bubbles emerge you need to plug it quickly.

Lynet said...

You're making me think.

You see, I'd defend "political correctness" in the sense in which I understand the word because I do care about these issues and I don't want to offend people - and perhaps also because I hold some frail hope that if we try not to add to the weight of implicit societal disapproval conveyed by, say, calling a gay man a 'faggot', the latent disapproval that we would rather not feel will die. It's a viewpoint based on liberal (middle class?) society where it's assumed that people agree that there is something wrong with racism and the like, and would like a nice code to stop us from doing it accidentally.

I imagine that 'political correctness' takes on different functions, though, depending on who is using it - you're right that it can end up being used as a way to disguise your real feelings, rather than as a way of attempting to control deeply-ingrown habits.

Any thoughts? I'm on shaky ground here, feeling the disconnect between my view and yours and wondering how to reconcile the two. Am I unconsciously perpetuating a culture that allows people to get away with things as long as they say the right words?

R. Mildred said...

Any thoughts? I'm on shaky ground here, feeling the disconnect between my view and yours and wondering how to reconcile the two. Am I unconsciously perpetuating a culture that allows people to get away with things as long as they say the right words?

It's not so much that, it's just that you have a slightly nieve trust in people not warping the system to nefarious ends than is probably warranted.

What you have ot understand, and this applies to any attempts at institutional changes in society (And the main reason why I'm still against the full legalisation of prostution), is that the people who run the institutions through which things like political correctness would attempt to control are run by people who are bigoted assbags, which is why people formed movements to counter them and forced institutional changes like affirmative action upon those institutions in an attempt to try to change things like that and to stop those bigoted assbags from being so readily able to screw over the various groups they hate.

The problem is that the people who in the end tend to be the ones who impliment the "PC" policies and would police "PC" language are the same bigoted assbags who were causing the problems in teh first palce, and will obviously only implement things like AA as far as they are absolutely forced to unless they can turn the whole thing to better suit their prejudices.

To stick with AA as an example for a second, the common rightwing thing about that is that "unqualified" black people are being let into colleges and jobs and stuff, but what's actually probably happening is that once certain colleges and employers fill their AA quota, they immediately stop letting any more qualified non-white and/or female applicants in who otherwise deserve those placements.

Even "positive" political correctness goes wrong because the only way it could work is if it only applied to people who could be trusted to enforce and maintain them in such a way so that a subtler and less obvious form of bigotry wouldn't be formed in response to it.

Except of course those sorts of people don't need political correctness to stop them from saying this that or the other or discriminating against people who aren't themselves.

Of course with AA, some change, even if it pretty much has to be done at gunpoint to stop bastards backsliding into the 60's, is better than the alternative.

There's also teh side issue of it giving whiney racists and sexists more of an excuse to whine endlessly about it, which no one particularly wants to encourage.