- More hot man-on-man action (I'm not gonna see the proper movie on account of my head will explode if there's not the little wall that was actually used at thermopylie, but the porn spoof version should be... interesting).
- At least some passing reference to why the spartans had such a well trained army (Helot uprisings? Massive slavery from the conquest of neighbouring states? Just some mention that the spartans were complete barbaric nutjobs of the first kind, nay references would be good)
Please do not include:
- Vile evil faceless mass of evil woggy brown folk as the vile evil
- Matrix-stylee slow mo action scenes, it's been done, by john woo, back in the 80's, in hong kong, it's going to be this generation of big budget films' cliche, which future film critics will look back on and laugh at, like dodgy psychedlia from the 60's, but even lamer.
As they should.
I mean COME ON! A several thousand year old bit of white supremicist masturbatory propaganda, and it's been converted into a cliche ridden hack & slash action movie, a story that explicitly had the spartans precede every battle with copious hair grooming and mutual man-on-man oiling action, and it's been parsed into the "fight in the shade" comment and some pretty CGI beheadings.
COME ON! It's the freaking Iranian empire invading a neighbouring (nominally) white country for conquest and booty, there's comparatives! Metaphors! Allegories! Hot man-on-man oiling and grooming scenes! All sort of subtle and not subtle things you could do with the thermopylea epic.
BUT NO! Fucking hack and fucking slash and fucking slow-mos!
Fuck them all, the fucking fuckers.