In which R. Mildred give ups serious blogging and finally gives into the natural womanly urge to become a crackpot psuedo-physicist

...One of the big irreconcilable problems physicists are having with quantum gravity is that QCD (Quantum Chroma Dynamics) provides solutions that allow text message breakups, whereas Einsteinian relativitiy was totally, like, "nuh uh!"

To put it in layman's terms, the method used to break up is relative to either the emotional or the physical distance between the people breaking up, and according to relativist physics, text based breakups require such a gross emotional distance that the two people breaking up would have to have already broken up and ogtten completely over each other prior to the break up declaration, or the physical distance would have to be greater than the diameter of the universe itself, which is of course, impossible.

QCD on the other hand, posits the potential for "non-baryonic relationships", which end prior to their start and have been observed occurring inside Dawn Eden's underwear. However the notion of such events occuring at super-plank scales completely breaks the notion of causality, messes up certain aplication of Schroedinger's equation which describes how a quantum system develops over time, and just plain makes no sense whatsoever. This all eventually led to Schroedinger locking himself inside a lead box with a randomised suicide device at the craziness of Quantum physics, where he promptly may or may not have died and caused the total destruction of the cities of sodom and gamorra after an impromptu rain of several million time travelling lawyers buried the cities in a bid to escape the Schroedinger estate's unresolvable suit to get Schroedinger's worldly goods passed on to his relatives*.

Unfortunately the lawyers' ploy would have worked had not the potential prospect of the infamous People of Sodom Vs. THE LORD and His Host Rape Case warped the lawyer's wormhole and caused it to open up several miles above the cities, resulting in an intense amount of splash, the total destruction of the city and all those in it apart from Lot and his family, and the invention of the phenomenon known as "not quite getting it"...

* He had cleverly put a clause in his will that left all his worldly goods (which included a remarkably sizable amount of money and the cure for whatever the hell is wrong with Michael Jackson) to his family as long as it could be proven that he had in fact died without anyone first opening the box.

At some point I will either give up on this fucking bloaty evil transphobia post, or finish the post detailing why "pornstitution makes no sense and hurts feminist analysii of the patriarchal aspects to the sex industry", in which I won't try to slut shame prostitutes into no longer being prostitutes for reasons of the bad case of ironic brain thrush I got last time I tried that.

Note this space, watch it, be surprised if I post anything interesting on it, meh.

1 comment:

Rootietoot said...

I shall read this again, then go sit down with a cup of tea and stew for a bit. Maybe watch a little E!.

Word Verification: Qurksdll.
That's what I'm talkin' about.