Take this as my living will...

Okay folks, as there seems to be a spate of inexplicable amputee happy feminists out there here's the rules...

If I am unconcious, grossly intoxicated, injured, severely traumatised, suffering from brain damage or otherwise unable to give a clear "aye" or "nay" to hugely invasive surgical procedures, hormonal treatments, sex or head shaving pranks...

Then Please Do Not:

- Lop, chop, slice, dice, mince, shave, mangle, maim, extract, amputate, collate, obfuscate or rip off anything that is not already hanging slightly off already, if you absolutely must hack away at somebody's person, let it be your own and go do it somewhere where I will not get covered in any of your spray or spatter.

- Penetrate, invade, poke, fondle, play with or rub anything of mine AT ALL, including pets, relatives, Significant Others and anything written in braile I might happen to own.

It Is A Given That:

- I do not want to be anyone's damn bonzai dependent, no small pots, no pruning of my "buds" whatsoever.

- Any potential medical experimentation can wait until after I'm dead, thankyouverymuch.

- I don't care about hyperthetical cancer, hyperthetical rapes or anything that exists purely in your head and involves you oh so nobly giving up anything of mine to protect myself from it.

- I will choose an increased risk over fearful avoidances of risks, always.

Any questions?

1 comment:

queer dewd formerly known as ( ) said...

ha! i just read about all this around about the bathOsphere ($1 to you). all quite pathetic.

i am eager to hear from marta russell on the issue and will post post haste when i do.