2/15/2007

I'm *Not* Spartacus



Because I feel a rant coming on, and I don't really want shakespeare's sis to get more death threats on accounts of little ol' me, but the loves there none the less.

So anyway, Shakespeares' sis got death threats as a result of the reely stewpid faux-papists who A) don't know anything about what actual anti-catholic sentiments and bigotry looks like (HINT HINT, the violent and systematic oppressions of catholics that resulted from the illegal occupation of ireland you auto-fellating ass-stains), B) would surely EXPLODE if they saw Monty Python's Meaning of Life and C) are apparently really nostalgic about those days when they used to sell arms to irish terrorists, because what's more traditionally "catholic", or more "pro-life" even, than combining both moneylending and death dealing in one smooth package?

Of course why anyone is surprised is beyond me, Pro-lifers making death threats, there's a new occurence *derisive snort laugh*.

For those who haven't seen the monty python song here's a youtube clip of the relevent part:



And I hate to bring up the fact that the catholic church is as we speak gearing up for a pogrom on homosexuals, and is currently waging biological warfare against non-white people across the world, and has pretty much hoved to a view of kinder, kicher, kurch ever since they first started their hacktactular bastardisation of the myriad tellings and retellings and other sorts of biblical fanfic that existed between the death of christ and the council of nicea.

So here's a rare color movie of Ratzinger back in his choir boy days:



Now one thing that has to be remembered here is that A) it's not actually catholics who are really at fault here, donohoe and his ilk are basically jack chick catholics, the sort who's "masses" generally involve them picking crusty bits of feet off and giving it to other members of their particular cult in lieu of actual sacraments, and are also people who haven't every really gotten over Galileo's disproving of the, shall we call them "mocklics"?, mokclics' dogma that the sun shines out of their asses and the universe revolves around them, THEM YA HEAR!

Because what no one else seems to be willing to point out is that Marcotte (let alone McEwan) didn't actually say anything that could be even remotely construed to be "anti-catholic", nor even "anti-christian" because what she's been called on is, of all the fucking things to call her on, mocking the pre-christian greco-roman concept that sperm carries a magical spriritual essence and is the only active ingredient in making babies.

And while I'm aware that many christians believe that God's own universe is of course secondary in importance to the one inside their heads, I feel I should point out that that particular belief is the made up and factually incorrect one of all the odd little bits of pagan detritus that is held onto by christians like their lives depended on them, rather than their souls.

Which is the irony that underlies all the other ironies in this sordid and pathetic affair, while actual anti-catholic bigots are shooting forth with terms such as "mackeral snapper" and actually oppressing actual catholic minorities in america, and doing other things like calling catholics pagans for instance, Donahue is defending the least sensical or important bit of the entire catholic faith, one of the bits that doesn't even reference the gospels but instead draws itself almost entirely from a papal decree that's barely 400 years old. I'm not sure if it was the pope who drank the blood of virgins who was responsible for it, or one of the myriad popes who, unlike Jean Paul II, felt that genocidal mass murder in the middle east was a really christ affirming thing. All I know for certain is that it wasn't one of the ones who actively enabled the holocaust.

But I should stop now on that line of thought, because I could mock popes all day long (they're just so moorish *rimshot* bad mildred, bad!), but what's really interesting is how the Leftwing bias of the media is front and center in this whole affair.

Well not really, here's WaPo, lowering the bar like a crazed chiropractor at a limbo and doing their best to make the moonie times look coherent;

The former North Carolina senator was caught between conflicting pressures. On one hand, Marcotte and McEwan, like many writers in the freewheeling blogosphere, had written profane and offensive attacks on their detractors, using language that no presidential candidate would be comfortable defending. On the other, liberal bloggers were embracing their cause, depicting them as victims of an orchestrated conservative campaign to discredit them.

Every major presidential candidate has hired one or more bloggers as a way to tap into the network of online activists who can generate considerable buzz, and donations, in a campaign. But many of these bloggers have a long cybertrail that leaves them vulnerable to criticism in the more buttoned-down environment of national politics.

Among other things, Marcotte had written: "The Catholic church is not about to let something like compassion for girls get in the way of using the state as an instrument to force women to bear more tithing Catholics." She also questioned, in explicit language, what would have happened if the Virgin Mary had taken the emergency contraceptive called Plan B.

Last month, Marcotte wrote of the Duke University rape case: "Can't a few white boys sexually assault a black woman anymore without people getting all wound up about it? So unfair."


Okay WaPo, how'd the fucking Duke Rape get in there!? Unless sarcasm is now anti-catholic, which as snarky as it sounds might be true, considering that WaPo appears to really believes that "explicit language" (oh noes! The lady cussed and did it with boys!) is anti-catholic (according to the WaPo's bullshit portrayal of it all). I'm assuming WaPo is now just objectively anti-anything but the driest and most technical writing possible, because that kinda shows up both the sheer humorlessness of the pathetic cowardly invertebrates who WaPo has been hiring ever since the media got bought out by the far right crazies, and the sheer idiotic tone of anyone who would quote michelle Malkin, who I don't think I should have to repeat, is deeply convinced that concetration camps are the greatest thing america did during ww2.

So to gain respectability from the WaPo, here's the totally unrelated Delta-V equations, which I think will prove without a doubt that Donohoe, Michelle Malkin and O'rly are laughably insane rape supporting buffoons.



Oh wait, that makes no sense, what with how one has no relationship whatsoever to the others.

but it sure is pretty.

But PinkoFeministHellcat, in a change from her usual schedule of being a wet hen, actually does have actual factual evidence balanced by context and common sense (you remember what all that stuff is, don't you WaPo? It's what reporters used to center their pieces around back when they had souls) that kinda makes Donohoe look like one of Those catholics who, not content with being silent while their church enables and shields pedophiles, actually stepped up to the plate and felt that Jesus would have wanted him to... slut shame the victims of priestly child abuse.

Because you know, as Jesus onces said; "Judge not, lest ye be judged, unless you're a self righteous, anti-semitic buffoon, in which case go right ahead and blame the victim, or else I'll give you the evil eye, woooOOOOooo!"

Or something like that.

Which poses the question of why, if this is a supposedly "christian nation" - as batshit insane Xfascists like donohoe are convinced it is - why a major media organ (and never has that turn of phrase been so freakin apt) seems unable to recall that the three ameobas are about as christian as jewish pharisee moneychangers who've converted to laissez faire hinduism after listening to too much john lennon, as even a cursorary knowledge of the bible and jesus' teachings would inform them.

But no, blahblah, poor oppressed christians, boo hoo.

Of course all this horrible mess emphasises is that Edwards has even less chance of winning the primaries than he did before.

Not because he's been tainted by McEwan and Marcotte's potty mouthes and frequent and disturbing use of sarcasm and irony to mock the ludicrousness of politics and political theocrats of course, because that'd make no sense, but because he's shown that between him and john kerry, they possibly comprised one whole crustacean, because we know, without a shadow of a doubt, that there ain't an endoskeleton beneath that vapid and wobbly Edwards exterior, and by the squishy and floppy behavior of the Edwards team in this sordid and stupid affair, the rank inability of the Edwards campaign to even defend itself against htese most vacuous and insane of attacks marks a low point in the history of soft bodied land dwelling creatures.

How can Edwards hope to be expected to defend america against the attacks of the right wing against truth and freedom, when he can't defend himself against this bullshit?

Well he can't, can he?

4 comments:

Blue Gal said...

Mmm Kay this wins a don't sugarcoat it award. This week sometime. Thanks.

sly civilian said...

"jack chick catholics"

Jack Chick is actually rabidly anti-catholic. Frequently uses "whore of Babylon" language to describe the papacy, and (unintentionally naming my first band) calls Catholic communion wafers "Death Cookie."

R. Mildred said...

Jack Chick is actually rabidly anti-catholic.

I know, that's why I called them that, Donohoe and his ilk strikes me as the sort of catholic who's perfectly happy to climb into bed with puritans to achieve concrete goals wihtout really noticing exactly how much the fundies hate catholics and have historically been the oppressors of catholic americans.

It ain't just the color of mexicans' skins that white puritan america hates, hell no...

though judging by how Kerry's catholic faith was the dems' attempts to win over some of the religious vote from the repugs, I wonder how cognizant of america's anti-catholic feelings the dems are...

SadButTrue said...

Wonderful post, a great mix of well thought out fact and argument with a soup├žon of charming sarcastic wit. I likey!!

You are SO going in my blogroll for this.