Once again Donohue declares: "I don't remember jesus mentioning priorities, you hippy"

Pedophiles in the clergy? Never mind that, out with those celibate homosexual priests!

The murders, harassment and victimisation of hispanic catholics by american racists? Never mind that, The Other will wango it's homosexual voodoo at us!

Pedophiles in the clergy? Never mind that, someone mocked the common and catholicism non-specific conflation between the holy spirit and semenal fluids!

The war in Iraq? Never mind that! Sweet Chocolate Jesus!

Yes, Donahue is once again doing unspeakable things to that big old shark he loves to jump.

Unspeakable things.

Look, for all the people who, ala Ann Althouse, like to say "I'm a ___" and then ignore anything that is required to be an actual ___ here's the thing:

A horse in a bowlerhat is not neccesarily a stockbroker.

People know this, really, that news orgs don't bother to pay any attention to this ancient peice of wisdom is not my fault.

And another thing, since the rennaissance, there's been this wonderful invention.

It's called a list.

It looks a bit like this:

Things that Jesus told you to do:

  • Love god with all your being
  • Love other people as you love yourself

If we want to get really flash, you can even heirachalise the things you're listing, in a numbered list, like so:

Some books of the bible, ranked in order of most relevant to christians, to least relevant:

  1. Matthew
  2. Revelation
  3. Exodus
  4. Genesis
  5. Leviticus

And if one wanted to, such a list could be used to prioritise actions, like a shopping list, where you might put milk first, so as to ensure that you'd make sure you got some milk before you got say booze, or even a non-essential.

So let's try a third list, priotised and numbered, with the lower numbers referring to actions that are more important for christians to really be a christian:

  1. Minister to the ill, and the poor and the otherwise needy
  2. Love God (see 1)
  3. Love other people, as you love God (see 2)
  4. DON'T JUDGE PEOPLE, that's god's duty (see 2)
  7. Don't fuck children
  8. Don't be a hypocrite
  9. Treat every day like it's your last
  10. Don't presume to be bigger than jesus, unless you're John Lennon
  11. And even then, only metaphorically bigger than jesus
  12. Be able to forgive judas

DO YOU NOTICE IT SAYING ANYTHING ABOUT CHOCOLATE JESII!? There are bigger fucking fish to fry, and there are actual atrocities being perpetrated against catholics, how about El Paso (TX) or New Bedford (MA) hmm? Do either of those names ring a bell!?

And for fuck's sake, they still throw nail bombs into catholic schools occasionally over in Northern Ireland, but this, THIS and some blogger who has been hired by edwards is what your panties are in a bunch about!?

Even as you're own so called allies in the far right waffle about freaking "death cookies"!? And are pretty much exclusively intent on throw all you papists in the camps along with the homos and sluts and feminists? Come on, did we learn nothing from Niemoller?

Excuse me now, I'm gonna go and repeatedly head desk at the sorry state of christianity these days, don't mind me...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I do have to thank Donohue for this controversy simply because it means I get to see the phrase "Sweet chocolate jesus!" all over many many blogs. Best if read like Prof. Farnsworth, of course.

And any person who reads and references Scary-Go-Round is automatically the best kind of person.