And then there are crackers...

You know how there are white people right, now these guys are alright, good for a laugh, the sort of people who you can ask for bail money and stuff.

And then there's the Crackers.

Crackers are the sort of people who'll be all nice to a POC to their face, and then turn around and make the snide comments behind their back.

Crackers are the sort of neighbours who'll call the cops on a POC if they make so much as a peep moving around their apartment, and then be around the next morning, tutting and tsking about how un-nice it is for whoever it is that keeps calling the cops to keep calling the cops. Because they're not like that of course.

Crackers are so sensitive to racial injustice! why if a cracker sees a non-white person so much as jumps a que, oh lordy will that cracker be upset at the injustice of it all! Why, some people are just so used to getting their own way, and just need to be taught that the world doesn't owe them a free lunch, and goddamn it! What is taking that wetback waiter so fucking long with the order!

And crackers just Love non-white people, why they got more POC friends than POC themselves do! And boy do they respect their friends' "culture", why they've even been to africa, turned out not to be as big a country as they thought it was, and they bought a genuine african carving at the hotel's souvenir store while htey were there too. They've even been to mexico, visited rio de janeiro and everything, and don't you just love the NAFTA™ brand poncho they picked up?

And you know what else crackers just love? To complain. Boy howdy do they love to complain, why they'll knaw your ear off with how some people are so sensitive, and just can't take a joke.

Except for their extra-special friends of course, who are different, bevause they're their sort of people you know?

Crackers are so knowledgable too, why they can whip out any number of interesting bullshit stereotypes about what ever ethnicity you happen to be! And male crackers find your women so beautiful you know, beause they're just so much more submissive than white girls you know.

And crackers care, why, crackers can barely stop caring if someone calls them on their patrionizing, ignorant attitude, because you know they're not like those bad crackers, hell no. Because they care, and respect, and are so sensitive to their uncountable number of non-white friends' special needs, and they understand that you're maybe a bit hot blooded, but they're just so nice they can hardly wait to forgive you for your humorlessness.

If you'll just shut up you stupid colored moron.

Because Crackers always have such interesting vocabularies, and can say such interesting things about you, without even saying your name.