Subject I: After five weeks of having the generic store brand of anti-wrinkle cream applied to his area, the subject's entire body has become as wrinkly as his scrotum - no change with actual scrotum wrinkleniccity though.
Subject II: Robert Jensen was exposed to a mixture of multiple brands of anti-wrinkle cream slathered over his genitals - Subjects' tongue has swollen up to such an extent that, though he has a mouth, he still cannot scream. Serious questions have been raised as to what he was licking prior to the swelling.
Subject III: Anthony Kennedy has reacted to one of the more expensive brands of anti-wrinkle cream in much the same way the first subject did - this has, most remarkably, led to him actually looking
more like a huge asshole than he usually did.
Subject IV: Subject 4 has responded most disturbingly to a different brand of anti-wrinkle than Anthony Kennedy, having twice attempted to take his own temperature with a thermometre - is currently under observation in case of future attempts.
Subejct V: The use of one of the more technobabble prone brands of anti-wrinkle cream has given V a most ugly appearance and appears to have led to a psychotic break of some kind. However, dispite his outward ugliness, he exhibits that common trait of many sociopaths in that he projects an almost hypnotic aura of charisma to anyone who sees him - It should be noted that we have recently let V loose in the gardens, as he appears reasonably docile. He grows the most wonderful roses.
