The Panda Rehab Project

Many proud dedicated pandagonians are feeling the bite this business quarter, the bite of the great Panda mascot still being a cracked out druggie with mouth fluid issues.
But Pandagonians, like the Demcoratic political whores they suport for reasons of coincidence, there is no limbo too low! No stone dildo too long! For Jesse and Amanda and all the other pandagonians will stop at nothing when it comes to advancing The Gayliberalfeministsecular Agenda of Doom.

So, as no one else has stepped forward with the vurve, vulvae and detirmination to do it, I have seen fit to create and begin the great and almighty Panda Rehab Project, to whip the Great Pandagon panda back into shape after the heights of high bandwidth usage led it to it's unfortunate cocaine, painkiller, booze and tax cutting addictions (or is that Bill O'reilly I'm thinking of?). Its addictions, what ever they turn out to be, has caused it to end up in its current, rather pathetic, state of drug withdrawal/overdose that has it bent over with the remains of that roll of toilet paper it ate hanging out of its mouth. The Panda Rehab Project pledges simply to make the Funktabulous Pandagon panda the most awesome force and avatar that the Rightwing has ever had to deal with and With it as our banner we shall make the Right wing Fear! fear for their profits, and fear for their underwear staying suitably aryan when they gaze apon The Funktabulous Panda's Awesome Visage:

It is only early days yet comrades, but today I feel shall be the day of Going Forth, to aquire the great (but cheap) tablet that shall make the Funktabulous Pandagon Panda Rehab Program invunerable to the slings and arrows of the elitist bastards who would dare to stand in our way!

Together we shall reach the goal, once dreamt of to bring the world back to the way it was, when The Funktabulous Panda could play with his ball and menace the unwashed snack food eating sexless enemies of You, the Great Funktabulous PandaVolk, without being challenged, or at least, the challenges were much more amusing and involved less bodily fluids than they currently.

What You, the Funktabulous PandaVolk, can do for this would be political demagoguette:

I need not blood sweat or tears from You, Oh majestic PandaVolk, nor donations of money, because I don't yet know how you'd give it to me, but Ideas ans suggestions of evil things that the panda can be doing, aside from the current EL (Elitist Liberal) university degree level "flag burning and heavy drinking secularism" class it has been taking, and suitably evil slogans and phrases for a truly evil liberal panda of uber-elitist decadence to wear on his shirts and non-trouser clothes (for a panda with pants is an abomination in the facets of the Discoball, according to the the dead member of The Ramones that speaks to me in my sleep).

And with that all said, let the thousand days of celebration ensue!

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